Dec 25, 2006
on dying alone
for the past however many years, i’ve always sort of taken for granted the insanity that is my family; an insanity that manifests itself a select number of times per year when attendance is almost mandatory and whose intensity is directly proportional to the number of parts of the whole are present. i’ve always been able to realize that i’m a part of it by virtue of it being my lot in life, but simultaneously, though reluctantly, wondered how other families celebrate or mourn or just gather.
this year though, something a little monumental (at least through my perception of things) happened: an outsider CHOSE to be a part of it all. it’s not exactly fair to call it a “choice” though, as it’s motivated by a commitment to someone already part of the raucous club.
but still, it never dawned on me that at some point in your life, if you’re lucky enough, you get to choose whether you want an all-access pass into that segment of another person’s life with the potential to reveal more than any other shared experience up to that point through an awkwardness so extreme that it borders on serenity.
i’ve never been asked to make that choice and i’ve never come close to meeting anybody, with the exception of maybe one person, i could envision asking to make that choice.
maybe (hopefully) one day …
